Saturday, March 04, 2006

Untitled....

Thought that I should be original this time :)

This is one of my owm compositions. Do provide ur comments and suggestions for suitable title entertained.

When laughter rings like bells of horizontal beauty,
She called upon thee to bring forth the anxious wail of bay.
The mind soared high and higher,
The unclenched hands held the world,
Substantial harmony brought forth peace.
Upon the soul of unglamorous ecstasy,
Tenderness filled to brim and overflowed,
Yet, the heart did not soar or pour,
The mist blocked the magnificent,
The breathlessness persisted and held her down.
The reins were loose, but not yet broken.
The heart whimpered, but could not cry.
The voices whispered, but did not speak.
When the mob questioned with doubt,
"Is is a boy, or a girl child?"

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok please end the suspense...is it boy or girl??

Anonymous said...

good one .. cud appreciate with a dictionary .. :D

WHiRLpoOol said...

reji...kamaal kar diya yaar...really good.....keep writing...u are good...

abe yeah rejitha kaun???? :P ...

Anonymous said...

idea was good but the presentation was dull and emotionless.

Sreejith said...

interesting :)

Karthik Subramani said...

"She called upon thee " seems out of place.

... some words can be avoided , they make it very much like prose , otherwise a good attempt ... keep going :)

Hameeduddin said...

remove the word 'child' from the poem---suggestion

title: First blink-----suggestion again

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